So you get a hybrid.
Get it?
You don't?
Oh, that's because it's a car commercial NOT ABOUT THE CAR.
And yes, there IS a car, and you assume the message is that because the pet is a hybrid pet, and a creepy lookin' dogfish at that, that the car would ALSO be a hybrid, but no mention of that anywhere. Can't find it in the commercial. Can't find it on the interweb. Can't. Find. It.
Wouldn't that have made sense? Should I give up on the logic now?
But the commercial's kinda neat in its own right. I mean, considering we all know how wet dog smells, and that fish reek, and then you combine both aspects and keep it as a pet. If you love that odor, then hey, more power to you! If you don't? Then you're pretty normal, and more power to you.
Maybe if the dog didn't look like the failed mutant experiment done onto the senator by Magneto in the first X-men movie (obscurish pop culture reference: check), then it would be even cooler to have. Then again, it's fake, so that's a damper on our plans.
So, going through the commercial itself, I don't have any real qualms with it, outside not having a clue what the guy says, if anything. It isn't an American commercial (at least not North American), so there's an excuse. I totally get what the dog's saying, though, so we're good there. I take it dogs don't really have that language barrier per country. Per species, sure, but not country.
He runs, he swims, he slobbers on the ball that's in his owner's mouth, he pees in the ocean (who doesn't? Gross), he chases a cat, the cat chases him (yeah, I laughed out loud at that part [I LOL'd, considering you people only understand webcronyms]), and he gets caught in a net. All the normal activities of your everyday dogfish.
Stop telling me it's not real! I want to belieeeeeeeeeve!
Actually, I wanted to point out that "fishing" part. I particularly enjoyed this commercial and didn't see any deeper message. If you want to put a deep message in a commercial, it'd be a PSA, and it would be very preachy for a car commercial (unless it was about pollution, but it's not here).
But, lo and behold, if you go to the actual Youtube page where this video is hosted, you can find yourself among comments like "Why does this commercial make my (Snickers)* hard" and "Before I die, I'm gonna (have an enjoyable afternoon at the ballpark with)^ a dogfish." ~
*Because you put it in the freezer.
^Good for you! That's a good goal.
~Not the real words, but hey, even I'm not that vulgar. Or am I? Nope.
But besides those lovely Youtube comments (internet oxymoron: check), you can find ones that fight for fish rights. Yes, questions that plague our existence. Would we stick a hook in a dog's mouth like we do with fish? I mean, if we don't fish for dogs, why would we fish for fish? Because that's what the word's for and how a lot of people made their living back in the day, or perhaps just how they ate that night?
Sorry. I forgot where I was and tried the "sense" thing again.
Nope, no deeper message, folks, but it would've been awesome, as I said before, if this was a hybrid car, but it's not. It's a hybrid pet. Not a hybrid car. It's a Spacefox.
Wait, wouldn't that be an awesome commercial? A fox in space? Oh...yeah...that dog, Laika. Whoops. Same idea, sadder outcome. Stupid Cosmonauts.
Maybe...a foxy woman in space...selling cars? Yes. Volkswagen, go for it. I'll be waiting.
Ratings time, ratings time, ratings time makes me feel so fiiiine!
-Dogfish: Not quite Catdog's (semi-tolerable cartoon reference: check) sense of conflict, but hey, neat! 3 Wormbones for you. Who's a good, nonexistent boy? Yes, you are! Yes, you are!
-Surfer Dude: I'm taking your pet. 2 guinea pigs to recover from the loss. You'll get a new dogfish someday. When they become real, of course.
-Fisherman: 4 contracts from China to catch more dogfish for them. Does China really put dog in their food? If so, then my statement stands. If not, then I bring stereotypes to the table, and you read them, and you probably nodded when I said it, too. You racist.
-Youtube: 1 screening process. It would be good for all of us, I promise.
Remember, hit me up at imadnauseam@gmail.com if you have any requests. I want your bad commercials. Well, "want" is the wrong word. But you know what I mean.
Also, if you enjoy reading this shlock, spread the word. Leave the comments. Throw the rotten vegetables. I don't care, just lemme know if you're out there, people, for fuck's sake!
(Going through the entire thing without one F-bomb: check)
(Wait, what? I did? Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck me.)
2 comments:
Hi. You've reached Kit's Voicemail. She tried to call you earlier, but when you answered all you heard was a dying stuck pig. Kit didn't answer when you called back to find out why she called because she was too busy laughing.... wait... the stuck pig was her? shiiiiiiiit....
Heh...TAKE THAT
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